Feeling It

Can you feel it?

I bet you can…

If you work at it.

 

The power of being?

It’s everything see?

Just be.

Just enjoy.

Ask yourself here:

Who am I right now?

 

There is an undeniable

Amount of pain in the

World,

 

There is suffering and

And anguish in the day

To day,

 

But keep in mind words

And the reality of your

Ability

 

To say, “I experienced all,

And I’m still right here,

And I can still enjoy my

Existence.”

 

Happiness is a state of being.

 

Don’t put too much stock

In your possessions,

 

They, like you, will pass

From this emphemeral

Plane,

 

The difference is that they

Cannot go, do, be without

You.

 

You are important because you are.

Make shadow puppets on the wall,

Enjoy the everything/nothing flavor

Of water,

Laugh copiously,

Love enduringly,

Live every year daily, momentarily,

They are all precious.

Smile decadently, because people

Will want to know,

And when they ask your secret say,

“I am.”

 

Rejoice when you have food

Because flavor is a bonus.

Pray whenever your breathe,

Because “you no breathe

You dead.”

 

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

Who are you being?

Nothing?

No.

Never.

Always all.

 

 

 

 

 

Re-Presenting

Brain clouds have managed to move through

The midnight sky of my mind,

And I find myself having to consistently ask

Myself, Where am I right now?

 

Thinking to much of the future

And contemplating the past is

Really only to avoid the present—

 

Bills are always past due and

How will I pay them next month?

 

Where am I right now?

Re-Presenting myself.

 

I am here and alive, and I’ve got that going for me.

What could possibly go all that wrong, so long as

These are maintained.

 

I possess the ability to think, and rationally at that.

The world presents itself to me as a world full of

Possibilities for me.

 

The words on the page are comforting and

And I possess the ability to make meaning.

So again, where am I right now?

 

Breathe and be, breathe and be, there is no

Other way, because all we can control is

Now, and where am I right now?

 

I’m here in my basement studio. 

I have a job I’m going to soon.

I have clothes enough for two

And food when I get to work.

My needs are being met—and

Actually being exceeded, see?

What can I have to worry about?

 

May the things of my life never possess me.

May I be comfortable in my asceticism.

May I go placidly amid the noise and haste.

May wanderers always find sustenance.

May existence be joyful for all.

May you find comfort in joyful existence.

 

A Convo with a Seeker

Tell me your fears

And share your dreams:

passionlove—

like passionfruit.

“I think you're very curious about the depths of love. 

Love is the most complicated thing in the world…

easily

more complicated than astrophysics,

more difficult than the Ironman,

more painful than a hot iron through the eye,

and once you wander into its depths

there's usually no light.

You have to find Your way

You know.

Don't write about love, he said,

you are too young.

You cannot know.

This is not an attack at your knowledge,

it just isn't possible.

You have to experience it.

It's the only way.

And it will break you down

before it can build you up.

I dunno.

I guess that's been my experience:

I dunno.

And love comes in all forms, too,

you're exactly right.

I've told you of the ways I love,

and it hurts people—

myself at the top of the list,

but I can't be in a false relationship in that way.

Not that the relationship is fake, 

and the love is never false,

it's just parameters ringing false.

It’s just different.

My love is not a romantic kind of love.

It is deep and it can be fiery and passionate,

and perhaps in that it is a bit romantic,

but I don't like romance.

When do romantic movies end?”

“At the beginning.”

“Precisely,

always rings false to me.

The chase is one thing,

but love is about more than the chase.”

“So what do I do?”

“That is an entirely different question, isn't it?

Only you can decide.

I won't be able to solve your problems for you,

and you're wise enough to know that.

I guess what I can say is,

you're at the quintessential crossroads.

Your unrest is a manifestation of something.

You can push it back down and accept that it is what it is

or

you can:

Go. Do. Be.

I once had an interesting conversation with a man at a lake in a park by my apartment.

We were talking about how we've both been so broke we don't know where the food is going to come from,

and

he told me he was in Australia and picking up things in the park and people would take him to get food.

He was homeless and broke and alone and in Australia, but he wasn’t unhappy.

I was sitting on a couch in the winter with no food in the house, no way to heat up, and huddled together under a blanket.

I had a thought:

it is well known that money can't buy happiness,

but it can absolutely buy comfort—

never happiness—

and comfort and happiness are only barely related.

I guess if you're asking me what to do because you want to go do be, there's no real answer, and I think it would lose something if there were,

but

you HAVE to be comfortable and happy in being uncomfortable

because it will be uncomfortable

and it will never turn out as you plan.

You should see my apartment:

a TV I don't watch,

no furniture but

a tiny bed,

a tiny fridge,

and if I think about it long enough...

the way I'm living would drive some people mad.

My mom can't even imagine it,

and she’s pretty creative, eh?

I don't even really have any food,

but I guess I'm really comfortable in this place, and

I get so happy here on some days, tears well up.”

No Rain

No, it's not raining,

the trees are simply

shaking off the wet

of a foggy Monday

morning,

and I can see ten

thousand silken

homes in the

tall grass out

back,

shimmering as

temporary jewels

and shrines to 

what we think is

possible and 

important.

Upon Arriving

And so,

with two bottles of

duty-free red label,

they put 

me thru the turnstile

and turned me loose

inside.

I have traveled much

today,

and have only a little

to go,

but the bulk and the

ocean

lay behind me like

so much

red tape torn thru.

I am she in her

studio, but I'm me

and she's she, and 

that makes us a

little bit different.

Red, neon crosses break the

skyscraper apartment building

skyline,

and somehow the stairway of

plant, page, bonham, and jones

seems

all too appropriate.

Self-flagellation

You know,

it's not that bad so far,

but I think 

I got in on the ground

floor,

and that is usually the

best way

to enter a building, yes?

I do have to be aware

of the very

real possibility that I

could slip a

little too far into the

world of the 

alcoholic foreigner in

a place where

it is possible to become

something else,

something better, some

thing more, and

sometimes the sound of

my own voice

grates on my delicate 

ears.